Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
