Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
