That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
