There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize