Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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