no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
