Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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