It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
