New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
