I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
