weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
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He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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