big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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