..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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