i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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