bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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