I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.