If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
