Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
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at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm