Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.