Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
