Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize