id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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