I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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