my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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