ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
