I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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