Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
