hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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