Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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