dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
