So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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