I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
