Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
