Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if i can run in heels then i can drive
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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