they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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