I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I forgot how hot balto sounded
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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