i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize