i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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