i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize