Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
