Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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