i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
