I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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