It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
