And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
