Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize