have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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