There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
