so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
