Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
