I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
that's an acceptable place to lick
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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