Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
