two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
