Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I had to cum in my sink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
