Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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