I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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