He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
