My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
