Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
